Sunday 30 June 2013

Being the Fat Skinny Girl... and learning to love my new body (yea me)!

"Excuse me your fly is open," he's smiling at me! OMG he's damn sexy and so obviously I die! But I'm too dark for my cheeks turn  pink!

"Oh yea!" I grin like an idiot and pretend to button my pants, while what I'm really doing is covering the front of my pants with my long blouse specifically worn for this purpose. My smart looking long blouse specifically worn for this purpose.

"Thanks I didn't realise." I lie. Unfortunately I did realise, but of course I can't tell him that my fly is down because that's the only way that I can breathe. It's not my fault, but I think my clothes are shrinking again! I swear they are! I'm pretty sure it's the fabric softener!

OK, OK, OK, it's not the fabric softener... hmmmmm maybe the laundry detergent then? 

OK fine lie to myself as much as I want I can no longer avoid the fact that I'm packing on the pounds! 

but I don't get it I'm eating the same things I've always been eating so I have no idea what I should be attributing the clothes shrinking to! I think it's time to admit that the Usain Bolt metabolism that garnished my days as youngster has finally packed its bags and left me *cries hopelessly*!! 

Now don't get me wrong I'm not complaining here! I'm not blogging about it to pronounce displeasure or dissuade myself from running to the toilet and sticking my tongue down my oesophagus after every meal!

Why au contraire mon amie, I am here to scream it from the rooftops... for as long as I can remember I've been the skinny girl and now I get to be the girl with the boo-tay! Yea baby *Austin Powers voice*!

it's not that I'm fat or anything because I'm still pretty skinny but now I'm the skinny girl with a lot more hills and valleys.. 

Unfortunately I'm now juggling two jobs (and no I'm not gaining weight because I sit at my desk all day and eat donuts... OK yes, yes i am but it's cupcakes not donuts!)

No I don't think im  making bad health choices because cupcakes aren't the only thing I eat and I actually enjoy a lot of healthy food (I'm a sucker for a salad)... and I exercise... sometimes... maybe... OK i climb stairs... at home... when I go to bed at nights... but dammit that counts!

So thanks to my busy schedule buying clothes and sleeping have taken backseat on my list of priorities so I have no jeans that allows me to breathe while i sit down, the consequence of which was the source of my aforementioned embarrassment.

But nonetheless I am loving my new found curves...




Saturday 15 June 2013

Learning This Blog Thing...

Ok this is my first blog so welcome... OMG I'm finally getting this done! Now I would've gotten to this sooner but I was too busy lurking over at AbsoluteWrite meeting a whole bunch of awesome people, learning a lot of stuff and generally being nosey and over friendly! If you're reading this you should like totally check it out... I mean seriously you should, it's like happy land or something over there, no one is mean to you. I reiterate: total... strangers... are... nice... to... you! If you're like me and you live in the real world where total strangers include the asshole that drove by and splashed mud all over your new shoes then take a minute to understand what that means!!

I think I'm suppose to introduce myself or something but I'll save you the whole over worded intro and sum me up in one phrase, two words: I'm crazy!

I'm like this hyperactive, indecisive, sometimes funny, sometimes annoying, overly friendly, hair pulling optimistic, scattered brain, smart-but-not-smart-enough life form that aliens will delight in one day kidnapping and probing...

My birth certificate says I'm in my twenties but I don't recall passing 16 (so obviously there's something wrong down at the registry office sonsofbitches)...

I like doing sports... uhhh i used to like doing sports... these days i just count climbing stairs as a sport (euphemism for I'm shit lazy)...

I currently write sports articles for a newspaper (I'm keeping it vague hopefully to pique someone's interest) 

I love to write, read and be friendly. Despite the hard introduction I got to this adulthood crap i like to smile (though I think it's the drugs... I'm not on drugs, I'm kidding... maybe)!

I one day want to be an author... lawyer... doctor... teacher... Journalist (renowned)... or rich!